Red Glow - Chapter 19 (COMPLETED: 06.08.2006)

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KiwiNZ
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Red Glow - Chapter 19 (COMPLETED: 06.08.2006)

Post by KiwiNZ » Sun, 30. Jul 06, 10:42

Sorry it took so long again. Work had taken over my life again. :roll:

Installed the Steam version of X2/X3 yesterday and had a bash at X2 again for a change. Was a good idea to look around the 'old' universe again. I like it quite a lot. Steam is a different story, see http://forum2.egosoft.com/viewtopic.php?t=148236

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Chapter completed under ======
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“That was a short story, considering you left about three mazuras ago. What did you do the rest of the time, live the life of the rich?” Val asked.

Tagor laughed. “Not really. I took on a couple of high-tech transport missions for a number of Teladi companies from New Income and Ianamus Zura. Firstly I needed to improve my account balance and secondly wanted to take the opportunity to determine if somebody in these sectors was involved. It didn’t appear so but at least I earned some decent credits along the way. I only intended to bore you with the important stuff.”

“Fair enough. As for me, I took on a couple of very lucrative contracts, saved a woman, lost a race, got myself a new toy, almost blasted to bits a couple of times, drank from your glass, ate from your plate and slept in your bed. That’s the economy version of the story and sums it up, really. Not sure how much Arox has reported but I came across Jasso and his boys during one of my mission, they had kidnapped the sister of a high-ranked Split. After rescuing her I was rewarded with a new addition to my fleet. A few wozuras later I came across this so-called Kr’ta’s Fist again. I thought they had figured out that I had kidnapped their boss. But judging from what you just told me, I guess it was a conclusion they reached after taking on the mission to rid the universe of my presence. Either way, as you pointed out so correctly, they are extremely good pilots and if it wasn’t for Arox, I’d not be sitting here. Thanks Arox.” The last words Val shouted into the room, knowing Arox would listen in anyway.

“Other than that, Bola Ti and I went to Kingdom End and presented the results of the Ion Disruptor research to the Queen. I believe she wasn’t too excited not to have the actual device but what are a couple of guns compared to the plans to manufacture them? So they let us leave in peace and on the way back we had a little peek at Argon Prime, shredding some pirates while we were there.”

“Shredding pirates? Those weren’t by any chance the guys that tried to switch off the lights of Julian Gardner? I read a vague report in the Bulletin News system on the trading station in New Income. They mentioned a cloaked Split corvette making short business of nearly a dozen fighters.”

“Err … well, wasn’t quite a dozen, as impressive as that number would be, only nine, I think. And yet again, credit has to go to Arox because at that point in time I wouldn't know how to pilot a corvette in combat. That brings us to something else, Arox, can you please zoom in on Ashoka and put my baby on screen?”

The large screen at the back wall of the room changed from the scenic image of a planet to display the hazy outline of the Dragon, as it was nested in the nebula.

“Wow!” Was all Tagor managed to say. Mesmerised he looked at the ship. With a few steps he strode up to the screen, trying to get a better view.

“If you wish to get a few steps closer, I can remove the external wall.” Arox commented his move.

“Wow!”

“You said that before, are we to assume that you have lost the ability to verbally express yourself and now resort to barking? I believe it is safe to say that it was a good idea to show the ship on screen before taking him there, he’d be drooling all over the cabin floor.”

Val had to laugh at Arox’ comments. Her reaction had not been much different; maybe physically more pronounced but her verbal output for sure had not been too intelligent either.

After a few mizuras Tagor managed to recompose. “Where did you get that one from? I understand the Split are still a tad hesitant selling their corvettes to other races.”

“Oh, I didn’t buy it, well, nearly paid with my life for it. But in actual fact, it is payment for one of my contracts. Well, including bonuses and travel allowance, and all the other bills.”

“So why exactly were you still going places in your fighter when you’d be much safer and faster in the corvette? I’d hazard a guess that you would probably not have nearly been shot down by those guys.”

“Well, from what you told me they were instrumental in the destruction of the Dragon clan, that means they know how to put a Dragon to pieces. Besides, I love that ship but prefer a fighter. Anyway, I need to check up on my Bliss Place and want to have a look if there are a couple of Dream Farms for sale. Need to streamline the production a bit. You want to come along?”

*

The two heavy fighters exited the East gate of Company Pride and headed straight for the Bliss Place. At the other side of every gate they had passed Val almost expected Jasso and Per to lurk but so far there had been no sign. Perhaps news of her survival had not made it to them.

A look at the sector map did not show anything of concern. From the North gate a small pirate convoy hurried through the sector, trying to reach the East gate to safety before the large Phoenix destroyer and its fighter wings would be able to cut in their way. Times appeared to have changed. A short while back Teladi sectors were considered safe haven for pirates. Val wondered what might have happened.

The station inspection was short; everything was in good condition. The Boron repair crew had done a great job, though there was a noticeable stench of ammonia still in the air. Production was running at 80%, only held back by limited Swamp Plant supply.

“Darn, there are currently no Dream Farms available at the shipyard in Seizewell. Appears they have run out of ore, figure that with all the asteroids in the sector.” Val muttered after contacting the shipyard manager. “Let’s catch a few stazuras of rest and then head for Ianamus Zura. I don’t feel like waiting for another two wozuras.”

“Don’t forget, the roids in these sectors aren’t particularly rich in ore and Mines of Fortune is what, four sectors away? Perhaps there is some tension with the Split. There must be a reason or two for Teladi military ships stalking trespassing pirates.” Tagor argued. “We could also check out Home of Opportunity, which is two jumps less.”

“Mines of Fortune? Home of Opportunity? I have never been there, where are these sectors?”

“They are located East of Family Whi. A couple of jazuras back a gate had been discovered in a nebula. Incidentally it was a snooping Teladi who found it and very quickly claimed the adjacent four sectors for his race. I believe he was rewarded with a mansion on Ianamus Zura with door handles made of Nividium. Anyway, these sectors proved to be invaluable for the Teladi economy, so a mansion was a pretty small prize.”

Val laughed. “Isn’t that in their nature? No expenses spared. Considering I haven’t been there and it is closer than Ianamus Zura, let us go to Home of Opportunity. But now it is time for a snack followed by sleep.”

A brief request to the info broker of Lucky Planets and 5000 credits later and Val had the latest maps of the new Teladi sectors.

The Bliss Place still was only bare bones. All the previously established small business on the station had vacated the space once news of the attempted sale had spread. Consequently there were a lot of empty rooms. The lack of a decent restaurant became painfully apparent when Val picked her meal from the food dispenser unit.

While chewing slowly she pondered the idea of turning this production facility into a proper business. There had to be a market in this sector. For a certainly hefty fee she might even be able to obtain a liquor license and produce and sell Spacefuel. Add a casino and this Bliss Place could turn into a place of bliss to the many business travellers that frequented this area.

“Excellent.”

“What is excellent?”

“Oh, I just thought there might be ways to turn this place into a gold mine. Currently we sell 90% of our production output to the local government. The deal is for one jazura. So in approximately seven mazuras I can sell the weed to whomever I want, wherever I want; no dictated prices, no restrictions. What if I turn this station into a casino and nightclub facility? There’s enough space to facilitate two large restaurants, four bars and a large casino. And then there is still one decently sized room available that I could turn into a movie theatre or sorts. I’ll have to think about that. If I then also could obtain a license to produce and/or sell Spacefuel on the station it’d be perfect and without any competition in the area.” Val’s eyes lit up excitedly when she presented her idea.

Tagor smiled and nodded slowly. “Sounds indeed like a plan. A lot of work but quite possibly well worth it. You’ll have to think about security personnel as well. Amusement venues like what you have in mind are bound to encounter escalations of sorts. Mind you, with a Split sector next door you probably don’t need to go very far to find a few guards.”

“Yeah, I guess a Boron guard wouldn’t be all too threatening. Ah well, currently it is all a figment of my imagination. So I’ll leave the logistics for later. Time to get some rest.”

*

Buying two Dream Farms in Home of Opportunity has been easy. Negotiating a reasonable price for the transport to Company Pride was a different issue. After almost one stazura of arguing, discussing and haggling Val finally reached an agreement with the captain of the local TL class transporter.

Having used the jumpdrives to quickly get to the shipyard, they had decided to explore the new sectors on the way back. Home of Opportunity in itself was an interesting sector. As the capital of the Eastern territories, it was densely populated and featured whopping 13 factories. Most intriguing, however, was the layout of station placement. As the only sector in the known universe, a three-dimensional grid had been applied which the station have to be aligned to. It did not take a rocket scientist to figure out that this was the idea of a Paranid. The current extent of the rhomb was able to facilitate another twelve stations. While the current layout was purely two-dimensional, Almanckessat, the designer responsible for the sector layout, had successfully put in a bid with the local government to force all subsequently placed stations to be aligned to the grid. His strive for geometrical perfection has stipulated the development of station tugs, an invention the Teladi derive great profit from.

Being a border sector to Split sectors, Home of Opportunity was the centre of Split-Teladi trading. The local economy flourished due to the limited resources available in the outer Split sectors.

The two heavy fighters departed from the shipyard and headed towards the North gate. It would take almost three stazuras to get there and Val wondered again why the races would not deploy a few tugs and pull the gates closer to the centre of a sector. But potential raids would probably have the majority of station owners protest against such action. With the gates further out there would always be enough time to at least scramble a small army from all the stations before the enemy came close to the stations.

The closer they got to the gate the less transport ships appeared to enter the sector. They still had to go for almost half a stazura and already had not seen a single ship in the past ten mizuras.

“Something is wrong here. There are no ships passing through the gate anymore.”

Tagor agreed and tried to get access to the commercial satellite network of Mines of Fortune to check what was going on.

“Hmm… the commercial satellite network appears to be offline, too. I can’t see what is on the other side of the gate. If you are concerned then why don’t we just jump back to Family Whi?”

“No can do. We have a TL transporting almost two million credits worth of stations. If somebody is sealing the next sector they’d probably acquire the cargo for their own use. I know I am not off too badly but not that rich either. I’ll get Ashoka in through the opposite gate and we’ll see what is happening.”

A few mizuras later the Dragon corvette materialized at the West gate of Mines of Fortune.


======


It had taken the old Chin a long time to come to terms with the failure of acquiring the latest Argon and Boron weapon’s technologies. The repeated failures of his men not only cost him dearly, they were also bad for his reputation, thus diminishing his power. If a single pilot was able to stand up against his clan, why should anybody else fear him?

He was still uncertain why the attempted abduction of the obnoxious Boron scientist Mi Ton failed. Why did a Split ship interfere? And most of all, how did it get there in such timely manner? Where did it come from all of a sudden? Too many open questions and so far no clear answers. He needed to extend his network of spies to the Argon and Boron sectors; place somebody permanently there with the sole purpose of relaying information.

Calling upon his Fist proved to be the right choice. For several wozuras he was even convinced they had eliminated this Argon woman that kept interfering with his business. Her recent reappearance, however, caused a rage attack that cost two of his peasants who happened to be in the same room their lives. This time his men would not fail. The plan he had worked out was perfect. She had to die, once and for all, and so she would. A grin spread across his face.

If his informant was right then he could also get a lead over the Curada clan again by eliminating the traitor that should have died a long time ago. This was going to be his tazura of triumph.

“Ra t’Knk, he is to come to see me.” After this brief command Chin released the comms button and sat back.

It took less than a mizura for Ra t’Knk to enter the throne hall with a low bow.

“My lord has called?”

“Yes, of course I have!” Chin shouted in response. He indulged in the humble behaviour of his servant. With a wave of his hand he added, “He may rise and come closer. I have an order for him.”

Ra approached the throne in a slow manner, although risen from his bow, he still had his eyes cast to the floor. After all these jazuras he knew better than challenge his leader by looking straight at him.

“Has the trap been set?”

“My lord, as we speak preparations are being finalised. There will be nothing left of them the moment their ships exit the gate.”

“Good. He will take a ship and go there himself making sure the plan will not fail again. I hold him personally responsible for the success of the mission. To his support he may take the remaining two fighters of my Fist. He leave now.”

Ra t’Knk hesitated a brief moment then bowed deeply while leaving the hall. This had to be the all or nothing. If the mission failed he did not need to come back. Chin would kill him and there would be no place to hide, not even in a prison on the Boron home world would he be safe. Ra opened a channel to the clan’s corvette that was stationed near the pirate station.

“Send the scout to the station. I am going to take the corvette to Mines of Fortune.” After these words he closed the communication channel and contacted Kr’ta’s Fist, commanding them to rendezvous at the South gate of the new Teladi mining sector.”

Ten mizuras later the Dragon corvette materialised amidst a large group of pirate ships busy laying out a grid of Squash mines. Shortly after the two Mambas of Jasso and Per arrived taking position at the sides of Ra’s ship. Slowly this powerful phalanx circled the scene. Thirty mines literally forming a wall, which would be impossible to penetrate. Two of them should be sufficient to destroy any heavy fighter. Thirty of these highly explosive devices blocking any chance of sneaking through the gate would not leave them any chance. Potential damage to the gate was more of a concern. But Teladi would never react until they saw a severe threat to their profit. And by the time they realised what had happened it’d be too late.

Ra’s informant in Home of Opportunity had informed him that their targets would only take another thirty mizuras to reach the gate. There was no doubt they had noticed the seizing stream of ships passing through the gate. But with a station transport that had no jumpdrive they could do nothing but fly CAP. Although …

“Two wings of five six four to the other gate. One scout through the gate to monitor the other side. Should they jump to that gate, kill them at sight.”

Following his command two groups of heavy and medium fighters accompanied by scout ships departed towards the East gate. The past has shown that this number by no means would be sufficient. However, they’d provide enough time for more ships to join the battle if need be.

*

“Now this doesn’t look good.” Val looked at the footage that Arox had patched through from Ashoka. She could see the large number of ships, too many to count them and also noticed the transport ships that had gathered near the trading station. “Do you know what they are doing by the gate? Are they laying mines or what?”

“This is indeed what they are doing. Or, to be more precise, this is what they have done. They are not yet online but it won’t be long.”

Suddenly three more ships arrived. “Split sending a corvette to help the pirates? Oh, and look who is there.”

“Skimming through your CV I’d assume the Dragon is a present from your old acquaintance Chin. And obviously you have recognised the other two ships. Looks almost like a family re-union.”

“Only that they intend to light fireworks that have a very detrimental effect on us.”

“Not at all, in fact they are just preparing the fireworks and expect you to set it off.”

“Semantics, have you come up with a plan yet?”

“Sure, go the long way through the Xenon sector. Target practice.”

“Thank you by I did not intend to commit genocide at this beautiful tazura. On the other hand, looking at the number of pirates on the other side of the gate I have a feeling it’d come close to exterminating a race, too. What distance can you cover with the Massdrivers? Any chance you could sneak amidst the pirates and set the mines off from the distance?”

“The risk of being discovered is high but if I approach from well below the ecliptic it may just work.”

“Just be ready to run, you know how to do that, right?”

“I am lacking the legs for an exercise like that but am happy to transfer this task to you if you wish.”

“Not this tazura, thanks, but I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Have you finished yet?” Following the conversation had been amusing but Tagor also felt apprehensive of what the plan was. While he could hear what was being said, he did not have the data to get a picture of the situation in Mines of Fortune.

“Oh, sorry hon. Arox, can you please patch the sector information through a laser link so Tagor knows what, who and most of all how many are expecting us?”

“By the truth! How do you intend to take on all these ships? There must be at least fifty of them!”

“We haven’t got much of a choice. My concern aren’t the pirates, it is the three ships that circle the pack that cause me headache. We can outrun all the heavy pirate fighters but not those three ships. Tagor, you think you can take on the Dragon if I deal with the Mambas?”

“Can you handle the Mambas while I sort out the corvette?” Tagor responded flippantly.

“Excellent that is sorted then. Arox, I need you to kill a few pirates in the meantime. If memory serves me right then you know how to do that quite efficiently. The longer you can keep them off our backs the better. We’ll catch up with you once we have dispatched of our targets.”

“Sounds like a fabulous plan, one opponent for Tagor, two for you and I’ll take on the other fifty, no problem.”

“57, we know you like fame and enjoy the attention of many.”

“Thanks, you are just too caring!”

“Right everybody. Plan is, we head for the gate and more or less on leaving this sector Arox will set off the mines. So by the time we are through the shockwave has passed the gate and we’ll have the momentum of surprise on our side.”

“May I advise the two of you to suit up? Not all of us can breath in vacuum.”

*

“Sire, they will enter the gate any moment.” The nav officer reported. Ra sat in the captain’s seat and waited anxiously for the spectacle to happen. He had not expected this to be so easy, almost too easy. Would they really not jump out in the last moment? Another look at the sector map did show that the fighter wings he had sent to the other gate were idling.

3 ... 2 … 1

The light of more than two dozen exploding Squash mines briefly lit up space around the gate. All pilots squinted or closed their eyes to avoid being completely blinded, when the cockpit screens tinted too slowly to counter-act the effect.

As the brightness slowly subsided loud chatter came from the comms. Something was wrong. Ra looked at the gravidar and saw three enemy signatures, one of which was ploughing through the pirate fighters and causing havoc. The other two headed in his direction. The trap had failed, but how? And where did the corvette come from? More so, why did a Split corvette get involved and sided with his enemies?

Ra turned to one of his communications officer. “Find out whose corvette this is.” And turning his focus back to the gravidar he shouted, “All battle stations. Fire at will.”

*

The two Mambas of Jasso’s and Per’s had already accelerated towards the closing enemies. Just before firing range they pulled almost simultaneously the trigger and their guns spat death in the shape of small shield-piercing projectiles. Their hope of a lucky hit was not fulfilled. The two approaching ships split up with the Perseus heading for the corvette of Ra t’Knk’s and the Barracuda closing in on them in an irregular flight path, making it a difficult target to hit. Both Split heavy fighters let off a barrage of four Silkworm missiles, only to see them explode when the white beam reached out. It then locked on to Per’s ship and while rapidly draining its shields it leaped over to Jasso’s Mamba. With a quick turn he broke the lock and turned again on the enemy ship. Then there was his opportunity. He had witnessed it during the last encounter and the other pilot repeated his, or more precisely her mistake: target fixation. Bringing the Mamba in line and pulling the trigger was a matter of less than a sezura. However, this short moment was enough for Val to recognise the danger she was in and change her flight path appropriately. Jasso cursed, it would have been too easy. Meanwhile Per’s ship already took hull damage. He pulled every trick he could, sharp turns, rapid acceleration and deceleration, corkscrews, hammerheads; nothing seemed to help. The Barracuda stuck to it like flies to candy. At the same time it appeared to be impossible for Jasso to get in a clear shot. After this one missed opportunity Val managed to always keep Per between herself and Jasso. Then Per’s ship went off in a ball of fire. Jasso crunched his teeth. She’d pay for it.

Then a nail biting fight was unleashed. Both pilots were of a very similar calibre, Jasso with the faster ship and more deadly weaponry, Val with better defence and weapons that could pack more of a punch. Both ships had taken significant hull damage. Val’s cockpit window was leaking again due to a hit that only just had missed her. Jasso’s Mamba limped with one drive unit offline and a myriad of red alert lights flashing. Almost out of ammunition he could not win this fight, his Beta HEPT cannons would not do sufficient damage before she’d have destroyed his ship. His only salvation was in his escape.

“Detecting singularity engine signature.”

“Beam him out when he jumps and into the cargo hold. How is Tagor doing?”

“Shields at 30% and hull at 76%. He is doing well but could do with some assistance. Transport completed, pilot in cargo hold.”

“Excellent, I’ll see that I can help Tagor. Get the Mamba to the closest station. How are you doing?”

“I have dispatched of all but two M5 and eight M4 fighters. So far no damage but I will need assistance with the heavy fighters as they are all similarly slow and there are too many of them.”

“Ok, keep them busy, I’ll try and make it quick.”

*

Ra t’Knk watched calmly as his men engaged the closing Perseus. Blue bolts from the APPC front-mounted gun met the incoming ship. Tagor rolled his ship into a barrel roll to avoid most hits then opened fire. Although most of his shots hit, the impact was not sufficient to quickly reduce the shields of the corvette. Familiar with the strengths and weaknesses of the Dragon class he turned just before he reached the fire arc of the turrets. Engaging the strafe drive he raked the side of the sleek M6 with green plasma. Suddenly his missile alerts set off. Eight Wasps and five Silkworm missiles approached. Before he reached top speed the first five Wasp missiles hit their mark.

*

“Shields at 40%.” The announcement almost coincided with the impact of the remaining Wasps. Tagor cursed. He would be able to outrun the Silkworms, if only just but it would leave him vulnerable to attacks from the corvette. And he was not the only one who recognised that.

*

When the light missiles hit their target the crew of the Dragon cheered. With satisfaction, Ra registered the drop in shield strength.

“Attack. Fire at will but watch out that you don’t destroy the missiles.” He commanded. “10.000 credits each if he dies.”

That was all the crew needed to hear. Aggression and determination reflected in their eyes. All slightly hunched over as to make sure every shot would hit. Nonetheless, the majority of the APPC plasma bolts missed their mark.

“Bring the turrets in position.”

On Ra’s command the Dragon passed the Perseus and peeled off in an angle that would allow both turrets a clear shot. This time the shots hit home. Quickly the shields of the heavy Paranid fighter dropped. It did not take long and it started to take hull damage. Only then did its pilot manage to break the lock, still pursued by five Silkworm missiles, which were now closing in. The damage had reduced the speed of the ship considerably. It was no longer faster than these powerful missiles.

*

Tagor wrestled frantically with the stick. The two men gunning the turrets of the corvette knew their business. Smoke rose from one of the floor panels and a number of fuses had blown, resulting in red warning lights on the dashboard. Finally he managed to break loose.

“Blimey, is there anything to get this coffin to move faster?”

“Command not recognised. Please rephrase.”

“Huh … oh, nothing, just thinking aloud. How much time till the first missile hits us?”

“32 sezuras at the current speed.”

“Great, and there are our friends in their big mean ship again, ready to finish us off.”

*

The Dragon swung around for a second pass. Applying the same strategy the crew readied itself for the finishing shots. Suddenly the corvette shook. In quick succession five Silkworm missiles hit the shields, reducing their strength to 10% and tossing the crew across the bridge.

“What happened? Status report.” Ra t’Knk was the first to recover.

“He used our missiles against us, Sire. When we tried to pass him he almost rammed us. While his ship managed to turn away in time, the missiles were too sluggish to follow the manoeuvre. Front gun inoperable but no further damage.”

“Bring the turrets in position and finish this scum off.”

Just when the corvette went on an intercept course the large body of a destroyer materialised at the South gate.
Last edited by KiwiNZ on Sat, 12. Aug 06, 17:04, edited 7 times in total.

The_Hypo
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Post by The_Hypo » Sun, 30. Jul 06, 16:00

Work
*shudder* :P

Like the chapter so far, I'm kinda hoping there's a Khaak invasion in the next sector, just to see what they'll do :D

Cant wait for the next bit. :)

Bye :)

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Post by Captain Chris sTc » Sun, 30. Jul 06, 18:22

What was val rewareded with. It appears that you missed that out. she say's she was rewared with a new. it's near eth beginingg when she's saying what's she's been upto.

i wonder who's lurking behind that gate is it those two guy's she's been expecting? can't wait to find out.

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Post by KiwiNZ » Sun, 30. Jul 06, 18:46

Whoops, good spot! Fixed it.

The beginning of the next part is already written up. Will have to see how much of the action I'll put into this chapter or the next.

Thanks heap.

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Post by The Zig » Tue, 1. Aug 06, 00:56

Cliffhanger, hey!
So what awaits... angry aces, pirates, khaak?
Hmm...

Well, good to see them all back out and finding trouble! :D

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Post by KiwiNZ » Tue, 1. Aug 06, 10:21

Thanks guys, thanks for the spots Lochen and Zig, corrected. :thumb_up:

Not telling anything about the next part yet other than it is written to about 60% :P

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Post by Mastermue » Sat, 5. Aug 06, 09:01

Good read Kiwi!. :D

Can only stop by on weekends now as I'm really busy.

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Post by KiwiNZ » Sat, 5. Aug 06, 09:30

Thanks for the comments, guys. The next part should be out later today or tomorrow.


I already thought you had dropped off the edge , MM :D

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Post by Mastermue » Sat, 5. Aug 06, 22:11

Not quite dropped off the edge.... just a bit snowed under! :)
I will be dropping by on the weekends though and looking for anymore parts and chapters to this most entertaining story! :thumb_up:

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Post by KiwiNZ » Sun, 6. Aug 06, 22:12

Right, perhaps just in time for you to read before the end of the break. :)

Chapter finished. I hope I didn't leave too many typos in there.

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Post by The Zig » Mon, 7. Aug 06, 02:28

:o Wow!

Awesome end to the chapter! Superb!
Love the tactics and the counter-tactics used, and nothing beats a good explosion!

As for typo spotting...
In the paragraph beginning "Ra’s informant in Home of Opportunity..." you use the word 'double' instead of 'doubt'. Oh, and just after the mines go up you put, "The two other ones headed..." - could that be "The other two headed..." or "The others were headed..."?

But really, that was a great ending.
Nice cliff hanger too. Eagerly awaiting the next part...

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Post by KiwiNZ » Mon, 7. Aug 06, 13:50

Thanks, I am glad you liked it, and thanks for the spots. :) Fixed them.

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Post by Lochen » Tue, 8. Aug 06, 12:55

Ten mizuras later the Dragon corvette materialised amidst a large group of pirate ships busy laying out a grid of Squash mines. Shortly after the two Mambas of Jasso and Per arrived taking position at the sides of Ra’s ship. Slowly this powerful phalanx circled the scene. Thirty mines literally forming a wall, which would be impossible to penetrate. Two of them should be sufficient to destroy any heavy fighter. Thirty of these highly explosive devices blocking any chance of sneaking through the gate would not leave them any chance. Potential damage to the gat was more of a concern. But Teladi would never react until they saw a severe threat to their profit. And by the time they realised what had happened it’d be too late.
Gate, not gat. :P

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Post by KiwiNZ » Tue, 8. Aug 06, 13:30

Bu**er :P

Thanks for the spot.

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Post by Mastermue » Sat, 12. Aug 06, 16:43

:D Hi Kiwi, exellent read.... so whose destroyer has come for some fun? :D

I found one remaining spot in the conversation prior to the battle.

“I am lacking the legs for an exercise like that but am happy to transfer this task to you if you wish.”

“No this tazura, thanks, but I’ll keep it in mind.”

Shoud that be

“Not this tazura, thanks, but I’ll keep it in mind.”

sorry! :oops:

KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ » Sat, 12. Aug 06, 17:06

Thanks MM, and thanks for the spot. that was a sneaky one but yet obvious enough that I should have noticed. But then again, I only write it, you read it. :D

Not come very far with the next chapter ... as in, didn't have any time to even start it. Too much work. Will see that I write a bit this weekend.

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Mastermue
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Post by Mastermue » Sun, 13. Aug 06, 11:51

Cool! :thumb_up:

(isn't it time you got yourself an avatar? :P )

budda
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Post by budda » Mon, 14. Aug 06, 04:38

KiwiNZ. Just read through the whole of this series in the last few days. Great story. Nice tie in with the X2 plot as well.

Think I spotted a mistake tho. In this chapter it seem like Val had never heard of Mines of Fortune before but I thought I had read in a previous chapter that Val had said she had plans of expanding operations with ore mines in Mines of Fortune. Can't remember which chapter it was, although I may have read it wrong.

Keep up the good work tho.
budda

KiwiNZ
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Post by KiwiNZ » Mon, 14. Aug 06, 07:33

Thanks budda, I am glad you like it. I will check that again. The earlier reference should have aimed at Ministry of Finance. Possibly I have made a mistake there. :oops:


MM: No avatar for me, taking up too much space. ;)

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