Red Glow - Chapter 17 (COMPLETED: 30.05.2006)

Official fiction, fan fiction and artwork. Let your talent express itself!

Moderators: TheElf, Moderators for English X Forum

Post Reply
KiwiNZ
Posts: 3510
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x4

Red Glow - Chapter 17 (COMPLETED: 30.05.2006)

Post by KiwiNZ » Mon, 17. Apr 06, 09:58

HAPPY EASTER peepz.

Well, here is the first part of the next chapter. May end up posting it in three parts, depending on how I'll get through it. This chapter is going to be different :twisted: :P

Hope you enjoy it.



UPDATE: second part under ====
UPDATE: completed under ++++

-----------

“Hello and welcome back. We already feared we had lost you. The doctors did their best but could not guarantee that you would recover.”

For the first time in four wozuras Val had stirred. The easy task of opening her eyes took what appeared mizuras. Much faster she shut them again. A light shone in the room that Val had never experienced, bright yet warm and energising. Slowly she opened her eyes again scanning the room as far as she could without moving her head. Next to the bed stood a woman, perhaps 50 jazuras old. Her friendly eyes mustered Val and a compassionate smile circled her lips. Val tried to move her head but failed to do so and flinched in pain. What had happened? Where was she? Certainly not dead, the dead did not feel pain. That is what everybody said. With a significant effort she managed to form a few words. Her voice sounded far and unfamiliar.

“Where am I?”

The woman came closer and gently stroked her cheek. “You are on Sonra 4, my child. You can call me Lona; my husband brought you here in a terrible state. You had lost a lot of blood and, if I understand correctly, also almost suffocated. The doctors said that a short while longer without sufficient amounts of oxygen and any hope would have been lost.”

Val relaxed and tried remember what had happened. Where was Sonra 4? How did she get here? Who was this lady and who was her husband? How long has she been here?

As if the woman had read her mind she continued. “You have been unconscious for almost four wozuras. Due to infection the wound at your shoulder healed only very slowly, hence you will still feel pain. For now you should rest. I will prepare some food.” After a long caring look she turned around and walked out of the room.

‘Lona, she was Argon, no doubt. So Sonra 4 was most likely also a planet in an Argon sector. I have heard that name before, but where? How …?’ Val fell back into a deep and peaceful sleep.

“How is she doing?”

“She woke up eighteen stazuras ago but spoke only a few words. Her shoulder still appears to hurt a lot. Though I think she’ll be on her feet in couple of tazuras.”

The voices sounded like from far away. After those few sentences they moved away before Val could open her eyes to see who had spoken. The female voice had been the one of Lona’s. But who was the man? He sounded familiar, too.

Her host came back into the room. “Good morning, my child. I hope you did sleep well. It appears you fell asleep before I could even heat up the water for your meal.” Lona smiled. “Are you hungry?”

Val blinked with her eyes, signalling her agreement. The long coma and resulting minimal diet had left their marks. Her body seemed to revolt against every attempt of movement. Even thinking caused her mild headaches. What had Lorna said earlier, almost four weeks? The delicious smell of food saturated the room when Lorna carried a tray with a bowl and a glass on it to the bedside table. With a little bit of help Val managed to sit up. She brushed her hair out of her face. As her hand ran down her cheek Val hesitated and looked around. Exploring her face with her fingers, she looked for a mirror. It felt nothing like she was used to. Lorna noticed the look and smiled sympathetically.

“Don’t you worry my child. I am sure you have seen better tazuras but apart from a scratch at your forehead, food is all you need to become a pretty girl again.”

Val returned the smile, grateful for her reassurance, and focussed on the food. The soup Lorna had prepared was delicious, it appeared to contain many vegetables that Val had never seen, let alone eaten before. In less than two mizuras the large bowl was empty and Val looked at Lorna with an expression that could only have one meaning. Lorna left the room and returned shortly after with a big pot and filled the bowl again. After finishing her meal Val stroked satisfied over her stomach, which made Lorna laugh. The next thing she expected was to hear her burp but luckily this did not happen.

“Now rest some more and in a few stazuras we will see if you are strong enough for a short walk.” With these words she helped Val back in a lying position, picked up the crockery and left the room.

Val did not know how long she had slept. When she opened her eyes she noticed that the light had changed. It was still bright but by far less than earlier. Looking through the room she could not identify any light sources other than the two large windows to her right. Never before had she seen light come through windows. Space is dark and if one came closer to a sun the windows would obfuscate automatically. These windows here, however, were clear and did not offer any protection from bright sun light, if that was what illuminated the room. It was strange, almost painfully bright; the light contained warmth Val had never seen before.

A few stazuras later Lorna picked up Val and they slowly walked out of the house into the garden. What Val then saw had her jaw drop and left her lost for words. The garden was magnificent. Never had she seen so many different plants, in so many different colours. As they walked through the beds of flowers Lorna explained the various sorts to her. Frequently they stopped so Val could take in the fragrant of some of the plants, which stimulated senses Val never knew she had. Was this what life on the planets was like?

She must have thought aloud, as Lorna answered, “Not all planets are like this one. We are lucky. There are many barren worlds, which no doubt have their own peculiar attractions but I have not seen another planet as beautiful as this one.”

“A friend of mine once told me that his mother had the most beautiful garden but seeing yours I am beginning to doubt his words. I have never seen anything more beautiful.” Val was still taken and if it wasn’t for her injury she’d been jumping and running around, as that appeared to be the most appropriate expression of her emotions.

“Thank you for the compliment. My motivation to cultivate the garden like this is because it makes me very happy just to wander through it and enjoy the plant and animal life. It represents the peace and harmony that everybody is looking for but only few ever find.” A sad expression emerged on her face but she quickly overcame it and smiled again.

At a bench they stopped and Val quickly sat down. She was still very weak. As much as the fresh air vitalised her senses, the exercise did not go by unnoticed.

“I sit on this bench often. From here you can see most of the garden and enjoy it best, even in the hot mid-day sun.”

“Sun,” Val pondered, “I have never seen the sun that bright, probably because I have never been to the planet surface before. As far as I can remember I have always lived in space.”

Lorna stroked Val’s hair in sympathy.

“I always thought the freedom to travel from system to system, station to station was the greatest desire of all living beings. But spending only those few mizuras in your garden has me think that a lot of people may not ever want to leave their planets. The beauty of everything around you makes painfully clear that not even in space I have ever spent any time looking around and enjoying what it has to offer. I am not sure if that is because there were always people trying to kill me and I simply longed for a bit of peace or because nobody ever taught me to sit down and enjoy what was presented to me.”

A sole tear ran down Lorna’s cheek. Listening to this young girl pondering things that most people will only even realise in higher age made her wonder what she had been through. Her husband appeared to be concerned about her, perhaps because he had use for her but perhaps also because she was just a troubled child. After losing their child, maybe this was a second chance to make a difference. She pulled Val closer and hugged her carefully.

====

“Can we sit down for a moment, please?” Val asked pointing to a bench that was only a few metres away in the park.

Argonia City was breathtaking. Beautiful old buildings in the centre of the residential part of the city gave it a very warm and welcoming touch. Narrow streets meandered through the rows of houses, shops, cafes and restaurants. All of them appeared to somehow end up in one small park or another. The noise of playing children was louder than that of vehicles. Everything appeared so peaceful, why had men ever wanted to leave this paradise and head for the stars?

Lorna noticed Val’s look to the sky and figured what was going on in her mind. She and her husband had had this discussion numerous times. What was out there that made him give up life in this beautiful environment? How good could it be? They had lost their sun to the stars.

“You don’t have to go back. If you wish, you can stay with us for as long as you like. Our house has been without life ever since our son died.”

Val looked down. She had been contemplating staying on the planet for quite some time now. But as much as she liked being here, there was that something that drew her away. Initially she just thought her friends were the reason, or Arox, or her assets. After a while, however, she felt she knew what had motivated people to find ways to conquer space.

“Lorna, I am very grateful for everything you have done for me, saving my life being only one of the things. I would also like to come back and visit you whenever I have a chance. This place, your house, the entire planet is so beautiful; I have never seen anything like it before. Still, at the same time I feel restricted, almost claustrophobic. I have been wondering why somebody would want to reach for the stars and apart from curiosity, I believe, the desire for more room to move in has been a driving force. I do like seeing and being with people, but I also need a lot of space, time with myself and I can only find that between the stars.”

“I know, my child. I have heard this argument numerous times from my husband and my son. It is something that I cannot understand, perhaps because I have never left the planet surface or perhaps it is just not in my nature. There is simply no desire in me to see just how empty space is. Please forgive me, but I had to propose this option to you.”

“And I am grateful that you did ask me to stay. It makes me even more want to come back.”

“When are you thinking of leaving?”

“I had not had a chance to explore the various means of transportation and, as you can tell, I still haven’t fully recovered. However, I am sure my friends will be very concerned. So I will aim to leave in one wozura.”

Disappointment and sadness were written all over Lorna’s face but she knew this day would come. Shaking the blue off, she said with a smile, “Let us head back, I think you could do with some rest. Obviously shopping for several stazuras is nothing you have practiced in the past. Girls in this town can walk for hours, for as long as they are inside the large department stores anyway.”

Val only responded with a weak smile. Extensive walking was certainly something she had not often the opportunity to.

*

“Ah, there she is!” With a welcoming smile Ban Danna moved towards Val, as she entered the room. It was her last night on the planet, the next tazura she had booked a lift to the trading station of Argon Prime. Seeing Ban Danna came as a surprise.

“You look surprised?” He laughed. “Come in and have a seat. I am glad to see you have recovered. Our surgeons must have done a good job. I’d love to say we are even now but I still owe you one life and am forever indebted to you.”

Val still looked puzzled at him but she was not the only one. “… owe her one life? What do you mean?” Lorna, who was sat at the table and had started serving, looked at her husband.

“Err, well. This young lady has been a lifesaver in more than one occasion.” Ban hurried to explain.

“Very well, now sit down you two, there is time to talk after dinner.”

Still staring at Ban Danna, Val slowly walked to her chair. “You are …?”

“Lorna’s husband? Ah yes, I am indeed. I am sorry that I could not come back earlier but you know how busy life out there can be. Your ship will be waiting at the trading station, fully repaired, as it seems. That board computer of yours is quite a handful. Where did you get it?”

“I was one of the developers. Yes, Arox has a very bright and straightforward personality. I assume she dropped me off in your office?”

“She did indeed. Suddenly there materialised this body with clothes soaked in blood on my desk. I was in the middle of a meeting with one of my commanders and he actually fainted. In his favour I will believe it was because of the breach of security rather than the sight of blood. I am still not sure how you manage to transport through our shields and it scares me but as I don’t count you as an enemy I will have to live with that uncertainty for a bit longer.”

“Well, I thank you for saving my life. You could obviously have just disposed of me and taken down my ship to get answers to your questions.”

“Actually that thought crossed my mind. Just kidding.” He laughed. “I doubt that your ship would be that easy to capture. An invisible enemy is not to be underestimated. I am glad that Boron ships can’t mount Massdrivers, though.”

“I am actually working on that.”

Ban Danna suddenly looked concerned. Then he saw Val’s smirk and relaxed. “I can see where your computer has its sense of humour from!”

“We learn from each other.” Val smiled.

++++

Val and Ban Danna strode across the landing platform towards the shuttle. As they entered the large ship he motioned her to head for the Express passenger transport in front of which a man in uniform awaited their arrival. He saluted and followed them into the ship, closing the airlock behind.

“So why did you not tell Lorna Tagor is still alive? I saw the photos in the room I lived in for the past wozuras. No doubt she still mourns and would be delighted to know he is alive. Don’t you think she deserves that little bit of peace?”

Ban Danna coughed discomforted, somewhat surprised by this direct confrontation with a topic that he still had not figured out how to resolve. “To be honest, I don’t know how to tell her and still have everybody else believing he is dead. As far as I am concerned there may still be a leak in my team and I am unable to guarantee his safety if he re-surfaces.”

“Hmm, I believe you should take her away for a short holiday and tell her when nobody is around. That would provide her with time to get to grips with the news well in time before heading back home. As for his safety, you can’t guarantee it now either, you will never be able to. It may make a small difference and perhaps that is just enough but currently Lorna is the one who pays the price and that is not fair, now is it?”

The Admiral did not respond. He sat back and closed his eyes. Val knew it was better not to disturb him and made herself comfortable.

Despite the large size of the atmospheric shuttle, there was a noticeable vibration not only upon take-off but also later during transit of the planet’s atmosphere. It lasted for approximately five mizuras at which point the ship had slightly changed its bearing, heading for the centre of the sector. Once it reached its final destination the gates to the flight decks opened and a small number of ships made their way towards various stations.

The sleek silhouette of an Argon Express passenger transport ship appeared. After clearing the immediate proximity of the large shuttle it changed course and accelerated towards the trading station. Just before it reached its cruise speed, suddenly the left propulsion unit appeared to catch fire. Soon a small explosion ripped through the unit and all three exhausts produced a trail of fire that would be visible from far away. Before anybody on board could react a blast went through the ship, dispersing it in a bright concentric wave.
Last edited by KiwiNZ on Wed, 31. May 06, 00:54, edited 7 times in total.

User avatar
Northstar
Posts: 270
Joined: Fri, 5. Mar 04, 19:40
x3

Post by Northstar » Mon, 17. Apr 06, 16:04

Rrr, very nice part of the story KiwiNZ :cry: Hang on while, I get my handkerchief, sniff, that's better. :)

Pleased Val is ok (I sort of thought she would be though)!

Looking forward to next parts. :wink:
[ external image ]
Click the logo to see what we are up to.
Modding Guide V1.6

KiwiNZ
Posts: 3510
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x4

Post by KiwiNZ » Mon, 17. Apr 06, 17:35

Thanks :D

I did play with a couple of scenarios but it is just too early in the story to kill her off :twisted:

The_Hypo
Posts: 1642
Joined: Sun, 7. Mar 04, 02:10
x3tc

Post by The_Hypo » Tue, 18. Apr 06, 15:01

YAY! She's ok! :)

At first I thought the light was an ominous foreshadowing, as if it was all some fake world or something, but apparently not :oops:

An unexpected turn is alway's a good thing :thumb_up:

Bye :)

KiwiNZ
Posts: 3510
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x4

Post by KiwiNZ » Tue, 18. Apr 06, 20:25

Hehe yes, I deliberately stopped there because it left a few options which the story could develop towards. :P

User avatar
Mastermue
Posts: 614
Joined: Thu, 11. Mar 04, 23:02
x3ap

Post by Mastermue » Wed, 19. Apr 06, 22:26

Okay Val's alive and recovering, but what about her Barracuda and Arox?

1 spot - right at the start!

"The doctors did their best but could not guarantee that would recover.”

Should there be a 'you' in there?

Good stuff kiwi....keep it up mate! :D

p.s. never had a reply off crunn about whether he would let me finish DH2, so have decided to work on my own story instead. Have no title and only an idea for the beginning so it could be a while! (You'll be able to get your own back then!) :thumb_up:

KiwiNZ
Posts: 3510
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x4

Post by KiwiNZ » Wed, 19. Apr 06, 23:16

Thanks MM :)

You are also very welcome to work on Red Glow if you are keen to participate. Two wicked brains have more ideas than one :D

Unfortunately I won't be able to finish the chapter before going on holidays tomorrow night. Too much work to have the time writing much. So you guys will unfortunately have to wait till first week in May for a continuation. Sorry. :cry:

User avatar
Northstar
Posts: 270
Joined: Fri, 5. Mar 04, 19:40
x3

Post by Northstar » Wed, 19. Apr 06, 23:52

You make an excellent story critic Mastermue! I always look for your comments at the end of the chapters, as it makes good reading.

You could have been a diplomat in any country! :wink:
[ external image ]
Click the logo to see what we are up to.
Modding Guide V1.6

KiwiNZ
Posts: 3510
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x4

Post by KiwiNZ » Wed, 19. Apr 06, 23:57

Northstar wrote:You make an excellent story critic Mastermue! I always look for your comments at the end of the chapters, as it makes good reading.

You could have been a diplomat in any country! :wink:
Totally agree! Your comments are always welcome. If I don't find all errors, somebody else has to :D :thumb_up:

User avatar
Mastermue
Posts: 614
Joined: Thu, 11. Mar 04, 23:02
x3ap

Post by Mastermue » Thu, 20. Apr 06, 10:43

Thanks guys!

Kiwi, it takes me weeks to write anything down (always do tons of rewrites before I'm satisfied), but not too bad with coming up with ideas........if I think of any I'll PM you and you take a look when you get back from your hols.....ENJOY! I dunno, 2nd holiday of the year.....I'm jealous!

Hi Northstar, thought about being a critic, but don't have the qualifications...drat!
You wouldn't think I'm diplomatic if you saw me behind the wheel....probably more like a raving loon :twisted:

KiwiNZ
Posts: 3510
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x4

Post by KiwiNZ » Thu, 20. Apr 06, 11:28

:lol: that is a lot of self-criticism ... and I am sure you are spot on :P

I have to take frequent holidays or I'll never get to see my girlfriend. :roll:

See you guys when I get back.

User avatar
Northstar
Posts: 270
Joined: Fri, 5. Mar 04, 19:40
x3

Post by Northstar » Fri, 21. Apr 06, 21:33

Mastermue wrote:Thanks guys!

Hi Northstar, thought about being a critic, but don't have the qualifications...drat!
You wouldn't think I'm diplomatic if you saw me behind the wheel....probably more like a raving loon :twisted:
Hello Mastermune.

I would bet that a few great diplomats have had near misses behind the wheel or was it rear missus!? :lol:

Looking at your work, you should be awarding others qualifications! :wink:
[ external image ]
Click the logo to see what we are up to.
Modding Guide V1.6

KiwiNZ
Posts: 3510
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x4

Post by KiwiNZ » Tue, 16. May 06, 22:49

Right guys. Sorry it took so long to produce a bit more. There was, and still is, a lot of stuff getting on at the moment so I couldn't quite clear my mind to write. Here is the second part of the chapter, a little bit more to follow later.

I hope you enjoy it.


Second part under ====

User avatar
Mastermue
Posts: 614
Joined: Thu, 11. Mar 04, 23:02
x3ap

Post by Mastermue » Wed, 17. May 06, 08:13

Great read Kiwi :D
Looking forwrad to the next part!

User avatar
Captain Chris sTc
Posts: 991
Joined: Fri, 6. Feb 04, 01:21
x4

Post by Captain Chris sTc » Wed, 17. May 06, 22:32

ooh that was an unexpected twist.

KiwiNZ
Posts: 3510
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x4

Post by KiwiNZ » Tue, 30. May 06, 21:48

Thanks guys. Sorry, I was on a business trip this time, not all holidays :D

It is a bit of a abrupt end. :twisted:

Chapter completed under ++++

The_Hypo
Posts: 1642
Joined: Sun, 7. Mar 04, 02:10
x3tc

Post by The_Hypo » Tue, 30. May 06, 22:33

So just how many times IS Val going to die? :D Could be an escape artist at this rate :wink:

Still good to know your back and writing again, my brain might not take all these 'business trips' bet your really going on holidays to erm HAWAII! Yes thats it, Hawaii MWHAHAHA, I've figured out your secret plan! :roll:

Bye :)

User avatar
Mastermue
Posts: 614
Joined: Thu, 11. Mar 04, 23:02
x3ap

Post by Mastermue » Tue, 30. May 06, 22:43

Hi Kiwi, enjoyable read mate :thumb_up:

Couple of points. (Sorry mate!)

So why do you not tell Lorna Tagor is still alive? I saw the photos in the room I lived for the past wozuras.

possibly change to

So why didn't tell Lorna that Tagor's still alive? I saw the photos in the room I lived in for the past wozuras.

and

To be honest, I do not know how to tell her and still have everybody else believe he is dead.

to

To be honest, I don’t know how to tell her and still have everybody else believing he is dead.

Last one

Once it reached its final destination the gates to the flight decks opened and a small number of ships made its way towards various stations.

to

Once it reached its final destination the gates to the flight decks opened and a small number of ships made their way towards various stations.

Good to see you back, BUT YOU'VE LEFT US WITH ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER
:D

KiwiNZ
Posts: 3510
Joined: Wed, 6. Nov 02, 20:31
x4

Post by KiwiNZ » Wed, 31. May 06, 00:58

Thanks Hypo and MM. Honestly, Hypo, it REALLY and TRUELY was purely business ... at least the first three days :fg: But family can be so demanding, I don't need to tell you that, right? :P

Thanks for the spots MM, have corrected them according to your suggestions. Shoulda read it once more before posting it. :oops: :D

Hypo, she is pretty experienced in dodging death by now but not that experienced ;) Will see that I post part of the next chapter by the end of the week.

Post Reply

Return to “Creative Universe”